Throughout life, we are subject to infinite changes. Some are of a material or physical nature and others are psychological or emotional; some are voluntary and others escape our will. Our body changes, we change our relationships, jobs, places of residence, we have children, we make friends, our loved ones die, etc. Not because we look for them, but sometimes, the changes are automatic. Sometimes, we assimilate an unexpected change better and faster than one that has been a long-term desire. Life changes seem to be an inherent condition of human life and yet we often resist them.
Going Through the Changes
Some of us are to the point where, even having decided that life changes us, we come to consider whether it was a good idea. It is very common, for example, to feel the need - even the urgency– to change their place of residence for different reasons. It could be that the children have gone to live on their own and the house feels empty; or, on the contrary, the family increases and we have the sensation of living overcrowded. Therefore, we decide to live in a smaller or larger place -depending on the case. However, after a very short time, we begin to find all the virtues of the previous one. Have we done well with the change? Have we not rushed into the decision? Nevertheless, let us not fool ourselves. Normally these types of sensations have little to do with the event itself. Instead, they are the consequence of an unhappy or unstable personal situation. Sudden life changes are the trigger for that feeling of doubt.
Identifying Change
We identify with what we do, with our roles in personal and professional life, and we cling to them to the point that, if we change our circumstances, we tend to make negative interpretations of our new situation. Leaving something behind is not an easy task. On many occasions we have “put an end” to a situation, whether voluntarily or not. Let's think about those moments in which we have done it throughout life. Sometimes they are easy to describe with experiences such as school is over, a relationship, our best friend moved to another city, we left the team, we finished our degree, etc.; other times, the endings are more difficult to define. These could be the loss of trust in someone, the fading of an idea or a belief.
Taking Charge
Although it may seem paradoxical, life changes for the better can leave us with a certain disappointment at first, similar to what we had some time ago when we experienced the end of a situation. It probably has little to do with the current state, but with the way we reacted before. Each one has their particular way of dealing with a situation of change. There are those who take the initiative to lead the events, considering that, whether or not we are entirely masters of our destiny, we have a large part of the responsibility in the transition processes; on the other hand, there are those who simply let events unfold, feeling powerless about their own possible influence.
Seek Professional Help
A little planning should go into your decision to make life changes so that you are not as disappointed if you had not planned. In many cases, you may need the expertise of a professional to help you sort through the confusion and challenges that often come with change.